After watching this awesome video, many different thoughts popped up, compelling me to write this article and hopefully enhance awareness about our thought process.

For years, I have noticed that many of my clients limit themselves from opportunity and growth due to feelings of Guilt and Shame, two very powerful feelings that can easily take over any motivations of empowerment and confidence.

Although this video is about leadership, there is another very important component of the leader’s successful actions that is not mentioned by the narrator. This component is the ability to shamelessly do what others are not, regardless of popular opinion.

How many times have you had an out-of-the-box idea or wanted to say “yes” to an opportunity, but something in your head told you that others would think you were crazy or that you simply are not built to do things that way? Well my friends, welcome to the feelings of shame and guilt! Like it or not, we live in a very competitive society, so if leadership and setting yourself apart from others is in the horizon for you, the first step must be to remove any feelings of shame or guilt!

First, lets talk about the meanings of both those emotions. Most people don’t realize that guilt is when one feels as though they have violated their own standards, and shame is when one feels they have violated someone else’s standards. Even though they are quite different in their origins, they are both emotions that usually get confused with each other and definitely get in the way of both personal and professional growth. Having said that, in order to feel comfortable with shamelessly taking the next step, whether it be to promote one self, one’s business or one’s cause, the feeling of “shame” must be squashed to create a comfort with being bold and expressively proud of one’s accomplishment. It is clear in this video that the leader, who successfully started a dancing frenzy in a public place, had absolutely no shame in being the only person to confidently strut his stuff in a crowd. So how is that done?

Well, there are quite a few ways that one can change their personal perception on what is “shameful” starting with gaining control of the standards they want to live by. It is much more comforting to live by healthy and productive self-developed standards, rather than by ones that have been created for them by others! When you are feeling shame, start by asking yourself “Whose standard do you feel you are violating, and what specifically is the standard?” Once you quickly realize that you don’t agree with their standard and further more, would prefer to be an example of a higher standard for them, you will no longer be feeling shame. When you feel guilty, what standard of yours do you feel you are violating? Because most likely even a standard that you have set for yourself was originally someone else’s and you decided to take it on as one of your own. How silly is that? It’s time to empower yourself with standards that you create for yourself, that are appropriate right now, to be the driving factor in motivating you to live a life of confidence, boldness and leadership!

Liz Becker
Senior Trainer at Enhanced NLP Training