We hope you enjoyed our last NLP article on building rapport in mediation and are continuing to realize the value of NLP in your professional as well as in your personal life. For those of you who missed the last article you can view it here: What You Probably Don’t Know about Rapport in Mediation.
The following article and handout explains and trains the foundational skill to reading people, verbally as well as non-verbally.
NLP in Mediation – Opening Your Eyes and Ears to New Information
As professional communicators, one of the tools that mediators have at your disposal is your ability to read people. The better you are able to read people, the more information you have about what is meaningful to that person, about if they are telling the truth or lying, if they are congruent about what they are saying or if there is a part of them that is in conflict with themselves. You also will have more skill in calibrating to their emotional states and recognizing their patterns.
How to Increase Your Skills
So if our ability to read people is so important in communication, how can we increase our skills?
A great place to begin is by increasing our sensory acuity. In NLP we teach that the senses are our interface with the outer world, and the acuity of our senses directly determines the quality of the information that we have to work with. So if you want to improve your ability to read people, you first need to improve your ability to open all of your sensory channels.
In the training room I usually tell the story about the 3 robots in a room. One robot only has cameras, one robot only has microphones, and one robot only has feelers. And as they explore the same room, they each have completely different perceptions.
If you left them in the room for long enough, and were to ask any of them if they had a rich understanding of the room they would assuredly say “yes! I have explored this room in and out and there is no minutia of this room that I do not understand”, and they would not be lying.
However if you were to take the robot with the cameras and add the microphones, how much more rich would its understanding of the room be? And if you were to add the feelers?
How much more rich would its representation of the room be if you were to upgrade the camera to HD quality, to get even higher quality microphones, and the even more sensitive feelers? Wow! What a completely different world to live in!
If you were to take this new, super-sensing robot and ask it now if there would be more to explore in that room you would get a resounding “Yes!”.
Where Do I Go From Here?
So is your sensory equipment due for an upgrade? Is there one of your senses that you rely on more than the others? Would you like to enrich your perception of the world, even beyond what you thought was possible? And would you benefit from increasing your skills at reading people, personally as well as professionally?
Then try the following exercises and stay tuned for our next article in the series!
You can find the exercises in the handout:
Practice these skills this week and stay tuned to the next article in this
series on NLP for Mediators.
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To your highest and best,
Enhanced NLP Training